It is well with my soul.

You know what's so amazing? God.
Yup, I said it. At this point, I'd shout it from the rooftops.
Cause really there's nothing else it could be.

So at least a month ago I was standing in church crying.
I was crying because we were singing "It is well (with my soul)".
Not crying because of my tone-deafness. But, because at that point I realized it was, in fact, NOT well with my soul.

Things were not shaking out for me.
I was worried about my job situation, I was starting a detox that would overhaul my body, I was sure I wasn't going home for my birthday/Christmas, and my sister was stressing me out about her wedding. And I'm sure there's more. There's always more.

All the while I said I was trusting God, but I wasn't.

One Sunday in the middle of all this, I went up for prayer.
Just because I was tired of doing it on my own.
I knew that my half-assed prayers here and there weren't going to be enough.
I was saying one thing and doing another.

All the while God was working His magic.

I got an interview with Best Buy.
I started going to a Connect Group and discussing what I heard on Sundays.
I dug deeper into some of the negative body image problems I've been having.
I started learning about nutrition and exercise.

All the while realizing that God's always had my best interests in mind.

I got offered the job at Best Buy.
I can turn to friends in my connect group for prayer and support.
I started loving myself more.
I feel healthier.

Then I went back to church (begrudgingly, thanks Ry!) and we sang "It is well (with my soul)". And I cried again. But because this time I knew it was well. And God had my back the whole time. I just needed to be reminded of it.

Then I read something the other day: "Part of having Faith in God, means having Faith in His timing, too." What a great reminder.
Someday I could share about my traumatic story of how I made it to Minnesota in the first place. And how that should've taught me that God has my back. Let's just hope one day I learn my lesson about how God works miracles in my life. Because for two years now, my whole life has been a miracle.

<3XOT