Clean Eating

So I'm doing this detox. Let me run through it with you…

Week One Thoughts:
I lost 6lbs and one inch around my waist. That was not the intention, but it just happened. I've also felt lighter. The energy is there. I always can use more sleep, but I feel lighter and better about myself.

So the main thing is cutting out toxic things from your diet. The biggest thing I noticed is I am CONSCIOUSLY grocery shopping and there is hidden sugar in everything!
So I went to buy spaghetti sauce the other day and it's so hard to find a sauce with just tomatoes and spices. It was such a wake up call about how much I'm not noticing.I have a fairly healthy diet, but clearly there's so much more I can do.

Week Two Thoughts:
It was a little harder in week two. There was no significant weight loss. Half a pound.
I still was able to work out like I wanted and loved making dinners that were healthy and filling.
Cravings started to kick back in. Not badly, but with Halloween on the horizon, I wanted chocolate. Which leads to cake, to wine, to just nothing that is good for me.

Week Three Thoughts:
Then came Halloween. Which totally derailed me.
I had some beer. And by some, I mean I got drunk and ate a cookie out of someone's hand.
So willpowerless me was led down a road of "cheating". I had some pizza. And didn't pay attention to portion size. And then I ate the shit out of my protein bars.
Boy did I pay. My insides hated me for a while. I needed to drink my way to feeling better. So I tried. But no one wants water when they have chocolate on the brain. The great thing about slipping is that you can always just chug your way back to where you started.

Week Four Thoughts:
It got pretty hard. I was baking for things and experimenting in the kitchen. I kinda gave up towards the end. I was out and about and wasn't on a set schedule. I was with people who weren't on the detox and that made me slip (not them, per say, but the temptation in general). I realized it's all a mental state for me and by week four, I had slipped out of the "healthy mentality" and into the "I'm being deprived" mentality (which isn't true, I was very nourished, I just was telling myself 'no' and that triggered my brain to think I was being deprived.)

I'm not looking to be skinny, I'm looking to be healthy.
I love doing these detoxes because I remember exactly how to be healthy. I do research, I find new recipes and I put a good base back into my life.
Yeah it's hard and I obviously wanted to give up. But if I just keep my mental state in a "healthy lifestyle" and eat in moderation, I will continue to keep this going!

If you wanna know details, please ask, but I'll just let you know I'm nourishing my body with CLEAN foods and it feels so amazing. There will be opportunities to do these detoxes each month!

<3XOT

Music Monday.

This is an exciting time in my life.
My physical,  mental, emotional beings - personal and professional lives are all in a good place.
At the same time. This is rare.

All this excitement just makes me want to smile and dance.
So all the sudden I'm driving THIS song comes on the radio.
I'm like — Yeah, this is such a good pump up song!!

"Oh don't you dare look backJust keep your eyes on me.I said you're holding back,She said shut up and dance with me!This woman is my destinyShe said oh oh ohShut up and dance with me"

Don't hold back.
Just grab life and go.

I'm also adding a picture of my Little Bean because I only have a week and a half left to see this face every day.

<3XOT

It is well with my soul.

You know what's so amazing? God.
Yup, I said it. At this point, I'd shout it from the rooftops.
Cause really there's nothing else it could be.

So at least a month ago I was standing in church crying.
I was crying because we were singing "It is well (with my soul)".
Not crying because of my tone-deafness. But, because at that point I realized it was, in fact, NOT well with my soul.

Things were not shaking out for me.
I was worried about my job situation, I was starting a detox that would overhaul my body, I was sure I wasn't going home for my birthday/Christmas, and my sister was stressing me out about her wedding. And I'm sure there's more. There's always more.

All the while I said I was trusting God, but I wasn't.

One Sunday in the middle of all this, I went up for prayer.
Just because I was tired of doing it on my own.
I knew that my half-assed prayers here and there weren't going to be enough.
I was saying one thing and doing another.

All the while God was working His magic.

I got an interview with Best Buy.
I started going to a Connect Group and discussing what I heard on Sundays.
I dug deeper into some of the negative body image problems I've been having.
I started learning about nutrition and exercise.

All the while realizing that God's always had my best interests in mind.

I got offered the job at Best Buy.
I can turn to friends in my connect group for prayer and support.
I started loving myself more.
I feel healthier.

Then I went back to church (begrudgingly, thanks Ry!) and we sang "It is well (with my soul)". And I cried again. But because this time I knew it was well. And God had my back the whole time. I just needed to be reminded of it.

Then I read something the other day: "Part of having Faith in God, means having Faith in His timing, too." What a great reminder.
Someday I could share about my traumatic story of how I made it to Minnesota in the first place. And how that should've taught me that God has my back. Let's just hope one day I learn my lesson about how God works miracles in my life. Because for two years now, my whole life has been a miracle.

<3XOT

Connect Group Goodies

What's better than baking?
Baking for people!!

So I love meeting with my Connect Group through church. We talk about the prior week's church sermon and fellowship over a meal.

The best part, for me, besides my obvious love of food, is getting to talk through what the sermon means to us. I love seeing other perspectives and learning how I can apply it to my life. Like, last meeting time, we talked about hearing God's voice and discerning what's real and not. Over the last two weeks, there's been lots of the "signs" Pastor Peter was talking about that other girls in the group talked about, that I would've missed otherwise.

The other best part is that knowing I'm not alone. The struggles and trials that I'm going through, someone else is sharing in that hurt, disappointment or life. These people have been there, or are going to be there soon, and we can all feed off of each other for that support.

So for Connect Group tonight, I'm bringing desserts. I'm trying to focus on the no gluten part of my detox, then no dairy, then no extra sugar. So finding a dessert that treats all of that isn't going to be a great dessert for anyone. So I decided that we're going to stick with the no gluten and then substitute and little more.

I found flourless brownies that I thought I could bring.
But, because brownies are only okay plain, I decided I'd add some goodies.
The result? Flourless brownies with caramel and pecans.

My recipe:

• 6 tbsp. coconut oil
• ¾ c. granulated sugar
• 8 oz. semisweet chocolate morsels
• 2 eggs, room temperature
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3 tbsp. cornstarch
• ¼ tsp. salt (first batch I actually forgot to put it in and it tasted ok)

Recipe for caramel.
Add pecans or berries.

Since I used coconut oil instead of butter, it gives it a cocnutty flavor. Then adding the "caramel" and pecans, it kind of reminds me of a Samoa (the girl scout cookie) or those 7-layer-bars that show up only at pot lucks.

Whatever it tastes like, what it lacks in gluten, it makes up for in sugar!!

Happy baking, if you so choose!
<3XOT

Chicken and Cookies

Let's not pretend I am creative.
I like to think I am and I make lots of creative things.
But, sadly, all my ideas stem off of what other people do. Mostly on Pinterest.
I'm really not afraid to admit it.

So, what have I been doing lately?
Cooking and baking, mostly.
It's my new *thing* and I want to share it with everyone.
I've been (trying really hard) to go dairy free and gluten free as part of an Arbonne detox.
It's really fun, you should try it.
I've really dug in to find new recipes I can try that will help me continue this lifestyle.

So, what did I find. First, I found CHICKEN FINGERS!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I didn't really mean to scream that, but I love chicken.
So I didn't take any pictures and I need to tweak them a little bit (and make homemade ranch dip to dip them into cause that always makes everything better) BUT, I want you to make this recipe.
I'm going to do it again and I'm going to learn how to make them perfect.

HERE's the recipe and the awesome blog in which I found them!
I bought my own organic honey mustard and that was pretty good too!
Served with sweet potato fries. It was great!

Then, the other day, out of weakness, I made cookies.
DELICIOUS gluten free cookies!!
Again, I'm going to play around with the recipe.
I used regular sugar because that's what it called for but I think I'm going to make them with coconut sugar and mix the flours like the recipe suggests. Might even splurge later to get Earth Balance Butter and vegan chocolate chips!!

Don't those look delicious?! They're kid, mom, best friend, and Tricia approved.
I'd make them, take them to holiday parties and not even tell anyone that they're GF and just laugh in my bliss of making the world healthier.
Look at the recipe. You'll find it's not that hard to make something gluten free. But, don't eat 8 of them at a time (Like I did — but I did it in 48 hours so that's like 4 a day) because they're still cookies. Yummy, gooey, fluffy, chocolate chip cookies!!

Next up are actual crafts. I have to go to Michael's and use my 25% off my whole purchase. That's dangerous, but even spending $100 it'll only be $75…so that's good, right?! (Yikes, someone restrain me!!) But I digress…holiday crafts are my favorite because I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!

<3XOT

Little Things

Can we talk about the little thing?
Like, the super tiny things that we normally take for granted.

Last night, I had some great tacos. Authentic tacos. Rice, beans, chips, salsa…the whole shabang. It was amazing. Definitely fit the craving of tacos that I wanted. Taco Bell has nothing on those. And better yet, it was within walking distance. So I got a bit of that fresh, crisp, fall air. And on my way there, I saw something that just made me smile! Some boys were playing soccer and their ball rolled into the street. A police car was at the corner and pulled into the street to stop traffic so the boys could go get their ball. It wasn't much, but they had watched a few cars already nearly hit it. Again, it's the small things.
Then, when I got home, I had wanted to just sit and watch tv, but instead, I rearranged my room. It's something I'd been wanting to do and I'm so glad I did it. It's one less thing that I have to do today and tomorrow. More time to watch Grey's Anatomy and blog.
I went to bed last night full of good food and good humanity.

This morning, I woke up and worked out. A good workout. Arms, abs, legs…the whole shabang. A feel so good, take your time, gym to myself workout. Definitely the workout I wanted. Then, I went to Trader Joe's and basic white girl'd the shit out of my pantry. Pumpkin Spice Chai and dark chocolate coconut covered almonds. I got some other things, too, like vegetables and milk. I enjoy grocery shopping. It's like a puzzle — which items can I get to make a new concoction? What are other people getting? What do people like?
Then, after all that goodness, I came home and made the one thing I'd eat anytime, any day: Biscuits and gravy!! It was so good. Filling and fun to make.

Now it's time to get off the internet, start the dishes and finish cleaning the house. More things that I love to do. Life might be a little complicated right now, but when I focus on the little things in life, it really is a good life.

<3XOT

On my mind.

There's two things that have been on my mind lately.

First, is my social media habits.
I recently deleted my Facebook, Twitter and a little while ago deleted my Snapchat.
Now, I thought I'd be craving it to see what others were doing, but in reality, I don't really care.
People who want to talk to me can text/call me and the ones who don't actually care, shouldn't really miss me.
But, on the flip side, I miss some aspects of the "talking" part of social media. Like, I could just have a passing comment or share a thought and those who wanted to take time to "Like" it or "retweet" it could, and if they didn't want to, they didn't have to. And vice versa.
So instead of me making those passing comments, I've been texting the comments to my friends in hopes of a reply. Sometimes I get one, sometimes I don't. I hate to say it, but when I don't, I feel kinda bummed out. Like, that comment wasn't important enough in that persons life. Or, I feel like I'm just bugging the crap out of the same five people.
I know a lot of it is just in my head, but isn't that CRAZY how social media is still consuming my life, even after I've deleted it?? I've studied social media, I've been around it for most of my professional life, and I've been using it since high school. So how do we turn this mindset around?
I'm not sure what the correct answer is, but I think I'm going to stay off of the sites until I've figured it out and come to peace with feeling like I can still have friends, even when nobody knows what I'm thinking at that exact moment.

Second, I've really been thinking that I need nutritional support. Not like a personal trainer, but more of an accountability partner. Someone who's goals are the same as mine. But. One catch. They need to have a litttttttle more willpower than I do. Because, quite frankly, I have none.
I do so well with KNOWING what I should do and PLANNING how to do it, but when it comes to the execution, I can make up 1000 excuses as to why I don't need to go workout or why it's ok to have two cupcakes instead of one.
I always start Monday morning with a solid mind and a great plan, but by dinner time, I'm so full-minded that I don't continue thinking healthy. And then by Thursday, I feel so exhausted from the week that I just give up in general.
So my goal this week is to not give up. To ask some trusted friends, if I need help. I know I can do it. I can reach my January goal. I bought a notebook and will be filling it with my mental and physical states throughout the day. In hopes of being in tune with my body and figuring out what makes me feel better and worse.

<3XOT