The 1st effect of sin was fakeness.

I have cleaned my anxiety away.
I have cooked my anxiety away.
I have baked my anxiety away.
(Tomorrow, I'm going to run my anxiety away.)

But with so much change, comes so much trust.
Trust that what I'm doing and what I'm planning on doing is the right thing.

Pastor Peter was talking about being transparent and living in the light; sharing our temptations and struggles with someone who we trust. He then went on to explain that living in the light is hard. Which it is. Or else we would all do it all the time and there'd be no need for Pastor Peter.

I'm not going to share my temptations and struggles on social media because, well, that would be stupid. Because, frankly, I don't trust most of you with my deepest, darkest secrets (sorry, not sorry). But, I will share with you the one point that has caused me to reevaluate every time I said I was going to change and become better and walk in the light, but didn't.

Point #3 of the sermon: We're not convinced God's alternative is better than our own.
If anything, I should know that there is a plan out there for me.
A plan greater than any plan I could think of or imagine.
A plan that will leave me with more than enough.
A plan that I could not design myself.

But, first you have to take that step and become vulnerable and true to yourself and who you really need to be. It can be scary. For me, it's scary as hell. For me, I'm afraid of everything I'm going to have to give up. I'm afraid that I'm too damaged. (There, I'm being vulnerable for social media "friends". Happy?) But then Pastor Peter said the one thing I needed to hear to know that I can make these changes.
The Holy Spirit never condemns, it convicts.
The Holy Spirit never shames you, it uplifts you with truth.

In nine days, I will be back home with my family.
In nine days, I will have so many worldly burdens taken off my shoulders.
Until then, I will trust that what the Lord is doing in my life is for the best. I will trust His plan. And I will be vulnerable with people that I trust.

Because as much as I love cooking, baking, cleaning and (in case you didn't know, I'm taking up a new hobby) cake decorating, that anxiety will still be rooted in me. It will not go away until I can find the peace that passes all understanding. And that comes solely with trust in the Lord and walking in the light.