Hurt

I've been hurt. 

I've hurt a lot.

I just want the world to be a happier place. 

Not the whole world. Just my world. 

I'm not my past.

And I don't know what the future holds. 

That hurt from my past has made my life really rough. I don't regret any of it, though. Some things I shouldn't have done. Some things were big mistakes. Some things in my past were completely out of my control. But I wouldn't be the person I am now if they hadn't had happened. I hope that one day the hurt from the past stops hurting my future. That what crap that's stuck in my heart will finally escape. That the ones that have been victim of my hurt will forgive me like I've forgiven myself. I have the power to overcome and the power to move on. And that's what I need.

There are very important things in my life, but sometimes as important as things seem, they can be very toxic. Whether it's people, places, or materialistic objects, I need to purge it. The bad. The angry. The bitter. The hurt. Things that make me ache and scream and physically fall ill aren't good. I wouldn't keep eating food that made me sick, so why should I keep putting emotions in my body that make me sick? 

I'm done. I'm done with the hurt. I'm done staying up late at night crying. I'm done feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I'm done being called names because I speak my mind. I'm done self-doubting. I'm done acting like I'm someone I'm not. 

I don't doubt there won't be hurt in my future. 

But I'm drowning in it right now. 

I just have to be done. 

There's a "right" world out there waiting for me.

It's not my past.

It's not filled with hurt.